I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
