then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Someone signed my nipple.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
