how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
