how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
