He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
