The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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