I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
