guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize