how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
