don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
