Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
