I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
