I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
