Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
