so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she looked like the before picture.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
