She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
