All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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