I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
