i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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