I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
She's not a foreskin expert like you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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