I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how does that bad decision feel?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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