Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
