I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
