hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
