I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
