Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
too bad you live with your parents still
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
