Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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