Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ttyl tear gas
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
