you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
