There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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