We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
