I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize