He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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