you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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