Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
