I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
