hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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