I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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