His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
