I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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