i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
