Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
