Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
