I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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