You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
