forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
