half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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