I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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