i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
