call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
