Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
