Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We are two peas in an std pod
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
