I just threw up on my dentist
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he just fucked me for my cheese.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
