my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Randomize
