i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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