we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
