I seem to have left my pride at pride
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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