i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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