1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
