i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
