there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
