he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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