What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
ugly people sure do ruin things
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
