shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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