I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
