it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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