Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
