I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
