does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
