ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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