I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
