sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
